BRAINSHIP

I learned a great and valuable lesson today at a work seminar held by our fitness and wellness program at work. I never realized how much I truly am on brainship mode. Life seems to pass us all by, and before we know it we have lost so many years of our lives. Today hit me like a freight truck, and even backed over me. The realization of how much I depend on pleasing others, making sure that all is planned, has ruined my ability to enjoy life. I am a planner and scheduler, a "doer" and "shaker". I NEED to have things organized, in place, and about 14 back-up plans just in case. I tell everyone, yeah i am easy go with the flow person,in reality, I am on brainship mode. A prime example would be this weekend when i am heading to Seattle for softball and a vacation after for a couple of days. Me being the brainship person, I have all details planned in my head. If we loose on sat, then we can hike kayak on Sunday afternoon, get home in time for dinner and fireworks. If we cant rent a kayak, then we can get on the bus and tour the city. If the city bus is not working, then we can rent a bike. If we are running late we can eat fast food, if not we can sit down. For the fireworks, we can go to the park after we eat, or i can suggest to have a picnic. If we have a picnic, then we need to find a sandwich shop. OK OK you get the point, SICK and twisted i know, but that is how far my head goes for one outing. Throw  a group to take care of, and that me makes me more stressed IE if sally's baby gets sick we can stop at coffee shop x while Suzie and I get her some medication for the baby. Sally's husband hates museums,so I can take him to a bar if he hates the museum, and let the girls enjoy.
with all of that said, I realized how I must drive people INSANE when they are with me. Part of the lesson was taking the brainship turning the notch down by letting part of it go, and finding balance in yourself. When you are in brainship mode, it hinders you from being able to enjoy, and also enables you to make correct decisions. 
As I write this at 1230 my time, I am still on brainship. I have everything planned for tomorrow, and I am ready to go.My head is spinning with all the little things I should have done or said today to others. Tonight may not be my night for brainship, but at least I recognize what it is..